Saturday, August 13, 2005

Halfway Rebuilt

Looks like I'll be here for awhile. Sids says I have to wait until hippie man and the queen are away from Mos Espa before slaughtering them. Either that, or find out where their ship is landed and start my seige there. Apparently, he doesn't want to draw too much attention to me yet. Lame. Maybe I shouldn't have left that burning carcass pile outside...

No biggie, though. I sent the one of the probe droids to find their ship, and the other to keep an eye on the activity in Mos Espa--mainly the podrace, which is supposed to begin on Monday. So while I sit back and wait on the probes to do the hard stuff for me, I get to watch the nerds do whatever they do. It's actually quite funny to watch them argue.

"That'sthnot thupposthed to go there!" hairy lisp man would yell as the fat one would try to help in rewiring my lightsaber.

"Yes it is. I can prove it! You see, it won't accept radio signals if the green wire crosses between the red and blue, when the red is intertwined with the black and purple, which should go underneath the blue. I can't believe you missed something so simple!"

"Yesth, but after I put thisth continueuam transthfuncthioner, it completely cantheled out the effectsth of the current wiring--that ith, consthidering that I firstht replathed the wiresth with entirely new onesth.."

"Oh, I see! I'm sorry...I'm letting work get in between our friendship. Let's never fight again!"

"No, it wasth my fault! Don't apologizthe!"

"No, it was my fault, you booger!"

"No, it wasth my fault!"

"Not so. I can prove it!"

As you can see, they make...entertaining...pets. Oh, and check this--they have names. I had no idea nerds actually had names. The hairy lisp guy calls himself Thamuel, and the fat one is Merlin. Lame.

Anyway, Thamuel came to me this afternoon with my lightsaber, saying that he had finished altering it. Of course, I was anxious to take it for a test drive. I hadn't touched the thing in an entire day, and as Sids would tell you, I can't live without my precious lightsaber. Well, there was nothing to kill it with, so I volunteered Larry's arm as my test subject. When I activated my lightsaber, the result was nothing less than outrageous. It wasn't playing my favorite rock opera station. The saber's beam had sprouted out of the both sides rather than one side, as it normally would.

Lame!!!

I didn't ask for a double-edged lightsaber. I wanted the blasted thing to play my rock opera station so I could kill stuff with backround music...and when I want something, I get it. No if's, and's, or but's included in that package.

Those two idiots have got to be the luckiest nerds barely-alive. I nearly skewered them senseless right then and there, but if I had done so, they wouldn't have been able to fix my lightsaber for me. So I told them I'd give them one more chance to get it right...And to leave it double-edged. It actually looked kinda cool.

I've been out here far too long. I need to kill something.

9 Comments:

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I do not advocate the slaughtering of innocents, but I would make an exception to the two nerds.

6:18 PM  
Blogger jedisiri said...

haha nerds again.

11:40 PM  
Blogger Shaak Ti said...

The continuom transfuncioner? Isn't that from an Earth movie?

-Ti

6:23 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

This is like watching the Three Stooges.
.....you're Moe, right?

11:03 AM  
Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

NNEEEEEERRRDDDDDSSSS!

4:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nerds? I would have settled for geeks.I can just picture the guy bringing the lightsaber like a crown polisher bringing the crown to the king.

7:01 PM  
Blogger Glidingbird said...

The nerds mus pay for their ways

7:57 AM  
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