Monday, August 08, 2005


I hate Mondays.

Master Sidious sent me on a small errand to Tatooine a few days ago, and here I am, hot as Mustafar on this ugly place. Not that I care. I like ugly. Location, that is. He was going through another one of his "observe-this-gifted-kid-so-I-can-replace-you" phases. Gifted kid? Psh. Does that look gifted to you?

I mean, so what if he's a mechanical genius at nine years old? I'm far more geniuser than that little brat. Not to mention better looking. I'm tempted to slaughter him upon contact, in spite of my Master.

But I digress. Sidious wouldn't be too happy if the kid were dead...and for an old guy, he has a deadly temper. It's even worse than mine. Plus, he can do that awesome force-lightning thing--which, by the way, he has yet to teach me. I mean, think of all the babes that'd be all over me if I could put a "little spark" into their lives.

Sids must have a giant crayon box for all his ladies or something. Unfair.

Anyways, once I had my ship docked out in the middle of nowhere, I took the landspeeder(Sids calls it the Darthmobile. Lame.) to some sand-house town. I wished I could have parked the ship closer. It took about two hours to get from way out there to Mos Espa, and it cost me a fortune in gas creds. Well...actually, it would have cost me a fortune in gas creds, if I hadn't have slaughtered the jawas running the place. I was in a much better mood after that.

I didn't have much trouble finding little Skywalker. Of course, I didn't confront him. I watched him from the shadows. Him and his wretch of a mother, and their "family love". It made me sick. If I weren't bound to my master, I'd have skewered them both when I first saw her pinch his cheeks.

I gotta say, for a stupid little genius-wannabe, he is kind of smart. Not very. Just a little. That podracer toy he was building was almost functional, until the engine exploded. I think I might not be so bored here after all. 'Sides...the chick who lives next door to him is kinda hot.

I suppose keeping an eye on the brat might not be such a waste of time after all.


Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

Geniuser ain't a word, fool. An don't be talkin smack bout my mom. You saw what happened to those Tusken Raiders... I mean... what... didn't...

8:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shut up Anakin! Yo momma is so fat, she was baptised at Sea World. What are you gonna do?

3:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anakin is a bitch!!!

3:10 PM  
Anonymous Darth Kiss My Ass said...

Damn Anakin! I keep insulting you! YOU'RE A PUSSY!!!

3:12 PM  
Anonymous Darth Kiss My Ass said...

Hey Maul, have you ever thought of killing your master?

3:25 PM  
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6:30 PM  

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